Hours at the wheel traversing the Midwest from Wisconsin to South Dakota and Indiana over the past few weeks grants a brain plenty of thinking time. Although I physically arrived at all of my destinations, my reflections never seemed to land anywhere. I had no idea how to connect the disparate thoughts in my head to any theme of didactic value. On I drove, cataloging the sights, sounds, and thoughts hoping some trigger would edit this mental footage into a cohesive message.
A trigger finally came on the return trip from a friend’s wedding in Indianapolis. I had just finished driving through the city’s hectic traffic, my chief function on the trip, and after a gas station stop had settled into the passenger’s seat of our red Ford Escape. With the change at the helm, I lost control over the Sirius radio. My indie rock station had been switched to country music. I couldn’t think about tractors, corn, and summertime any longer. Looking out the window I saw the heat rising off the neatly rowed Indiana farmland, my mind had already been there a time or two.
Desperate for entertainment, I turned to my phone and located the spark. It was a political joke about a young boy who asked his father for money to give to a homeless man. The father answers that he will give the son the money if he agrees to work for it. The boy decides to work hard for the money but afterwards wonders why the homeless man couldn’t work to earn the money himself. In the punch line the father remarks “Welcome to the Republican Party, Son.”
Later I found that the “Welcome to the Republican Party” is a popular style of joke of which this was just one variation. I can see someone reading this post and saying “lighten up, it’s just a joke. Don’t take it literally,” but there are subsurface messages behind the tongue-in-cheek humor that resonates with real-world opinions we hear every day on the news and in conversation. The joke seems to glorify poverty or unemployment and equate it with laziness and societal parasitism. It also subtlety endorses work exclusively for self-gain. In essence, the joke seems to paradoxically unite people under an ideological banner of helping ourselves and hoping others will take care of their own business; a sort of solitary solidarity.
Accordingly today, I see a society emerging that believes in self protection and self promotion. We flaunt our social circle, appearance, and job status for all to see. In striving for these things, we are only weakening our faith in and eliminating opportunities to reach out to others. While hard work and independence are undoubtedly important virtues, the joke paints with too broad a brush stroke for me to laugh much. I laughed even less when I realized that, a lot of the time, this is how I live.
Even when we (I) decide we want to help others there is often an element of “what’s in it for me” behind our actions. A Chinese proverb says “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” It would be great if we could teach everyone to fish; in a sense provide them with something that has the power to noticeably improve their life. This type of service makes the most sense to the human brain because there is a reward for both the giver and receiver of the service.
I realized that when I wasn’t just looking out for my personal goals and aspirations like the father in the first joke, I couldn’t get past the role of fishing instructor. In these weeks before I leave for graduate school, I was looking for places to volunteer in my free time. When perusing volunteer websites I felt very picky. I wanted to see hungry bellies, souls, and minds nourished. I wanted to see God in action changing lives. I wanted to see those I helped getting jobs, building families, and finding a home. I wanted gratification in return for my service. I wanted to help others so that they could help themselves. To my disappointment, so few organizations seemed to be in the business of changing lives on a daily basis.
This mentality also translated to my relationships with friends. Unknowingly, I was using love and kindness to try and dictate the terms of relationships. For acts of kindness, I expected to be rewarded with love, affirmation, or at least the knowledge that I had positively impacted another’s life. I was applying unnecessary pressure on myself to try and help others change and improve, a role that is better left to God. The more I did this the more I was let down when the responses I predicted and longed for from others never came.
There is nothing wrong with this type of service except when we come expect it and settle for nothing less. Metaphorically speaking we forget that it will take several lessons for the man to learn all of the fishing techniques we show them, that the man may not own a fishing pole of his own or a boat to reach the best spots in the lake. For some in these tough times, the fishing waters may have dried up long ago. He may not even say thank you after the lesson is over. The world is made up of imperfect souls like you and I who lack the mental, physical, and emotional tools to take care of our personal needs and express gratitude for the help they’ve received. Where does this leave us? Is there another way? Jesus says there is.
Jesus throughout his life sacrifices for others when they do not deserve or appreciate it. Let us remember he gave the ultimate sacrifice of his life to wipe away the sins of the soldiers who hung him on a cross while hurling insults at him. The theory of psychological egoism argues that this true altruism is not possible because our actions are always motivated by some self interest. Maybe not humanly possible, but with the help of God I’m hoping there’s still a chance for me. Jesus explicitly urges us to act in kindness in situations where we presently have absolutely nothing to gain. In Luke 14:12-14 he says “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous” I can also bet that God uses these thankless, “insignificant” actions in ways we will never know. That is what I now try to remind myself as I volunteer at Love INC’s (Love In the Name of Christ) thrift store once a week. Even last Thursday as I struggled to figure out what a size 10 in women’s clothing translates to in terms of small, medium, or large, I have to have faith that organizing those racks of clothing is going to have some small positive impact on the organization’s ability to serve the community. It’s like the Nike slogan “just do it,” and let God do the rest.
We can promote this type of love in the world not only by being selfless givers but by being open and gracious receivers as well. As I continue to embrace the person God created me to be, I’m learning to express my thoughts and feelings through blogging and other avenues. This has helped me let down my guard, reach out for help, and be transparent. As a perfectionist I always try to mask or minimize my weaknesses, but the bible tells us to rely on others in our weakness. I’ve also discovered that I’m actually a pretty sensitive guy and it’s okay to express my emotions in my own way. That means my needs as a human being, my pain, and while I’ll never be a peppy rah-rah kind of guy, my joys as well. Recently, this has paid off and I’ve been blessed with some support from good friends who have provided a listening ear and an expression of support that has made all of the difference.
In one final example Jesus once more reverses the message of the political joke. Mark 10:21-22 says “Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, “You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.”” When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions.”
I can imagine the grief stricken man looking at Jesus and asking “But Father, why can’t the poor work for riches of their own.” I imagine Jesus would just give the man a stern but loving smile and say, “Welcome to my flock, son.”
Photo obtained from Christiansciencein.com
Not That Michael Moore 